I refuse to be the door mat anymore

So as many of you know, I have been bumping heads with a fellow coworker for YEARS. The issue is, she is "higher up" than I and bring in the money. So whatever I say and do, it DOES NOT MATTER. I produce no revenue. My position is for the sole benefit of the listener. Well, at least it's SUPPOSE to be. Back in the day, radio was about the listener. It was about music, games, driving people to tune in. Then corporate america bought it out...and now the #1 goal is making the clients happy. Make money, regardless of what the end product sounds like or how many commericals you have to cram into an hour. Bump the music out if you have to.

The internet has become a money maker too.....which means LESS on-air contesting and more online. This is NOT the industry I got into 10 years ago. It hurts my heart, soul and core and goes against everything I strived to do. I don't work for the listener anymore, I work for some guy in Detroit that can't even hear us.

Anyhow, the emails with said coworker have gotten nastier and nastier to me over the year. I make things more difficult because I have a family now. I ruined things because I had to move out of town to afford to live. Now Im pregnant again, and oh boy, Im offputting everyone AGAIN. Well, you know what? I've cried, punched my desk and cried some more to myself. I am tired of this, so freaking tired. I have to play bad messenger a lot. I quick sucking up my words and acting like everything is OK. Ive become frank, brief and stopped taking shit. Apparently fire doesn't play well with fire.

Anyhow, she just came into my office FLIPPING OUT. Told me she's tired of my attitude, in which I said back "it goes both ways"...and went on with my work. She stormed out. It's only a matter of time now before big boss man thinks he needs to step in and degrade me some more.

My job will be canned before hers is. And you know what? Part of me DOES NOT CARE. Did I go to school for 4 years, work for free for 2 years, bust my ass working til 2am for a year and then uproot my family for THIS?! The only bonus of this job these days is my ability to come and go as I please, pending I get my job done (which I do). I will miss that flexible schedule, but if it comes down to it...my sanity, stress level and family is MUCH MORE IMPORTANT.

End rant. My poor baby boy is gonna come out one big ball of stress. I need this level to tone down.