I Failed.

I thought I did ok. 

I know I wasn't perfect. 

I know I yelled a lot. I have always had a bad temper. 

I set rules to help you learn routine. I set rules to help you keep in check and do what needed to be done to be the best you. 

I keep rules because that's what keeps a house in check and not chaotic. 

But other people don't. They don't care. It's you do you, always. It's chaos, it's mess, there's no routine...it's survival of the fittest. 

I can't live like that. I'm sorry. And it's what drove you to run off....to take off the moment you could. Basically a big middle finger to everything I thought I did right. Everything I thought I was doing to help you be the best you....but in the end, all I did was reinforce the fact that I am a failure. 

I'm terrible at being a mother. I'm a bad friend. I'm sorry. I did it all with the best intention....but I guess it wasn't enough. 

Now who am I? I dont know. I failed...I failed at the one thing I thought I could be ok at. 

I'll just let the other one raise himself since I obviously suck at it.