Pity Party... table for one.

I know no one reads these....but I write anyway....sort of self therapy....perhaps it will provide someone something therapeutic or some knowledge later down the road. Im having another one of those "i wanna quit social media" moments. Mostly because of self pity... I am no one's godmother.... no one trusts me with their kids. I have no friends I spend time with. No "girls night out" No "girls weekend away" No family vacations No trips to Disney Blah to half that...really, it doesnt bother me.... except the friends part. Im tired of people going on and on about their awesome friends....how much they love them... awesome nights and weekends... parties.... yea...the Halloween parties. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Halloween. As my Mom (cause really, shes the only person that knows me, mostly). But I have NEVER once been invited to an adult Halloween party. Never. I would go in a HEART BEAT! I love costumes, and the creativity! Its just fun and awesome. Im 35.... and never, ever been to one. *sigh*. Welcome to my pity party, can I offer you a beverage? I want a friend that notices when Im down. That calls me at random or texts me a random joke or just a Hi. Do you know the last time my phone rang from someone other than a telemarketer or my husband? Probably a year ago...maybe longer. Even my parents just send me messages on Facebook. :-/ The value of a voice is so lost these days.... Maybe Im depressed. Maybe I need medication. Who knows. I just.... I just .... I want to be liked. I want to feel like I matter to someone other than my kids. They are my world, and that is fine... i know I should just stay focused on them. But.... I want to be ME...and not JUST A MOM. :-/ I guess thats a shitty way to think....