@&^#*^@^##&^^!!!!!

aaaand there goes my appetite, and my anxiety is back. I dont want to appear in court. I never asked to be a part of this case. I only said I would help however I could...but NEVER did I say "I will lose a days pay for you to go talk in front of people". Fuck no. Ive been so full of anxiety, I feel like I want to puke. I scream at my kids, I cant handle it. I do not....do not...do NOT want to do this. I was told last week after meeting with the attorney that I probably wasn't needed...and definitely wasn't needed at 9am.... He would call my cell after lunch that day and let me know if and when I need to come in. My anxiety lifted... I could breathe again. Then my cell just rang 15 minutes ago. It was the legal secretary calling to instruct me that I need to be there at 9am now. WHAT?? This throws a big fucking wrench in my entire day. Hate this, hate this, hate this. :-( I wanna cry.